There are many unforgettable things have happened in my life. However, the most unforgettable thing is the trip that I went to Liuchiu with my family last summer vacation. Liuchiu is located east PingtungCounty the port Southwest.
The first interesting thing is the sightseeing bus that we took. It due to a big family that I have. I think it is not really common to see. Besides, because Liucuiu is a island that we had to take a boat. However, we ate the meal as soon as we arrived at the Pingtung. After that, we took the boat at once. It is so miserable that I have a seasickness. Although it only took thirty minutes to Liuchiu, but I feel like a year. What's more, I just thrown up all the way. When we reached the Liucuiu, we took the bus to go around the island. And because the island is not big, so it only took fourty minutes. There are also many natural scenic spots. "Flower Vase Rock" is a place that every sightseers would take a picture. "Beauty Cave" is a natural cave that composed of cay. "Black Devil Cave" is a cave with mysteries. I was so scared when I walked in there.
To sum up, the trip was really good except for the seasickness. Also, my mother suggests that we could go to Penghu next summer vacation. And I hope we would take the plane not the boat.
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Hi Shu-Yun,
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing your trip to Lichiu (although the seasickness sounds very terrible to me.)
Basically, everything is fine with your writing, except for some little mistakes. See below:
1. There are many unforgettable things have happened in my life.
--> ...things that have happened in my life
2. However, the most unforgettable thing is the trip that I went to Liuchiu with my family last summer vacation.
考考你:這裡是名詞子句還是形容詞子句?
3. It due to a big family that I have. I think it is not really common to see.
-->due to不是動詞喔,
-->這兩句的英文我看不懂。你想講什麼?
4. Besides, because Liucuiu is a island that we had to take a boat.
-->an island
-->because子句不能當獨立子句
-->你這一句的文法架構要改
5. It is so miserable that I have a seasickness.
時態請檢查
6. Although it only took thirty minutes to Liuchiu, but I feel like a year.
-->...but it was like a year to me.
7. What's more, I just thrown up all the way.
為何用完成式的thrown?
8. When we reached the Liucuiu, we took the bus to go around the island. And because the island is not big, so it only took fourty minutes.
OK 寫的不錯
9. There are also many natural scenic spots. "Flower Vase Rock" is a place that every sightseers would take a picture. "Beauty Cave" is a natural cave that composed of cay. "Black Devil Cave" is a cave with mysteries. I was so scared when I walked in there.
-->Good writing
10. To sum up, the trip was really good except for the seasickness. Also, my mother suggests that we could go to Penghu next summer vacation. And I hope we would take the plane not the boat.
-->good ending